Day 30

Great day!  Had pre-planned to grab a Cheerios to go when I got my morning coffee before work.  Got to the coffee shop and came thisclose to ordering a bagel/egg sandwich instead, thinking I'd eat light the rest of the day and exercise hard tonight.  I pushed the thought aside and put forth the effort to make my mouth say "Cheerios, please", telling myself I'd be pleased with myself later.  (I sure am!)  I decided to say it - I said it - it happened....I am in control.  Let there be no forgetting that.

I had such a great day eating-wise, I didn't have to think twice about enjoying a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie this evening, made by my daughter.  I had the points left.  Nice!  I felt so good about it all that I didn't even have a hard time just taking one, enjoying it and letting that be the end of it.  \

Today I ate 27 pts
Exercise: Crunch Step & Sweat, 200 squats (-5 pts)
TOTAL:  22 pts

During my workout, I watch my form in the mirror b/c it helps me work harder, trying to see my muscle tone while I work.  I kick higher, squat deeper, and during exhausting floor work/leg lift reps, I make eye contact with myself and give myself a mental pep talk.  Is that hokey?  (Do I care?)

During tonight's workout, I noticed 2 things:  My biceps looking a little more defined when I lift my arms up or out, and oblique muscles I don't usually see - because they've been covered in too much flab.  It reminded me very clearly of how it felt to have flat, toned abs - and I LOVE THAT FEELING!!!!  I remember one summer day telling a friend that I was so psyched to realize I didn't have to suck in my stomach at all when I was in a bikini around the pool - (with other people!)  >sigh<  It's been quite awhile since then, but I remember that feeling... It really is amazing.

I've decided to postpone me end-of-month progress picture until after my cycle brings me to a better place.  I'm not really feeling it looming, so it may be a few days.  (I never know when to expect it until I get a migraine or a breakout.  Sexy, huh?)

Motivation is a fickle thing.

I can't get a grasp on what keeps me motivated at times and what makes that fade other times.  Why is it sometimes the image of my own potentially flat belly and firm, toned legs is my compelling driving force, and other times a big fat buttered bagel is my driving force?  Why is it that when either image takes over my mind, I don't really care much about the other image?  It pales in comparison at those times.  I like to think that I can balance this out, and the WW pts system allows me to do that without giving either up, but honestly, when I'm at my coffee shop ordering a buttered bagel or a scone,  I'm in a very different place mentally and emotionally then when I'm lacing up my sneakers for a workout.  I'm facing in a different direction.  Maybe that's what I need to work on now.  Making those 2 situations mesh more, so this process doesn't feel like a battle of wills.  I'd like to make my motivation an ever-present thing, even when I sensibly go ape-sh*t and use up most of my flex pts for the week in one sitting.  I still want to be aware that I care about and am working towards my goal BMI/weight/look, but that enjoying foods I love can be a part of that in moderation. 

Now I'm sitting here thinking of working out (which I'm in the mood for right now), and bagels (which I'm also in the mood for right now.)  And it feels like a good vs. bad kind of thing in my mind.  Responsible vs. irresponsible.  Success vs. failure.  Control vs. loss of control.  Does it have to feel like this?  Does becoming more accepting of bad diet choices mean I'm less motivated?  Is that the path to becoming one of those obese women who post anti-skinny blogs and spew on about how much more "real" a woman they are due to their greater circumference?  (I'm not a fan of skinny either, but "real" women aren't judged, and don't judge, by  size.)

My motivation level is everything in this endeavor to lose weight.  What I eat, when/how I excercise - they're the tools, but my motivation or lack of is what makes it happen or not.  I'd kinda like to get a grip on what's going on with mine, and how many of the thoughts flying around in my mind are excuses, ignorance, or little pearls of wisdom - perhaps???

Day 29

Wow, did I have a hard time fighting off some strong Dunkin Donut cravings tonight!  If not for the cold outside, and my general laziness after working/making dinner/cleaning the kitchen, I think I'd have given in and driven up to DD for a chocolate cake donut.  My mind kept saying "you're doing great!  You can have a donut now!"  Which is really just brilliant, eh?  Because 4.8 lbs is enough.  Why bother continuing after this unheard of feat of human strength and endurance?  Yeah.  4.8 lbs.  No one's ever lost that amount before.  Ever!  I'm clearly invincible and a donut can't affect that.  (Never mind that 5.2lbs I haven't managed to get to yet.)

This is why my weight creeps up on me.  I start losing a little bit, feel great about it, and then stop trying so hard.

I'll need to take and post a progress photo tomorrow, since it is the end of the month.  I need to keep it real - notice a change if I can, but keep focused on my goal and what I still want to accomplish and improve.  4.8 lbs was a 1st step.  Falling back into bad habits now isn't an option.  I can keep up with what I've been doing, burning fat, toning up, eating more healthfully.  4.8 lbs is NOT good enough!!  It was just a taste of what I can do -a  reminder that it's entirely up to me.

I'm saying all this, but my motivation just feels flat tonight.  Blah.  What the heck....

I need to repost my favorite motivation image:

This is actually my favorite part on my body, so I like that this motivation pic shows me how I want it to look...with no flab bulging above any seams.

Great non-skinny legs.  For those of us who will never have long, thin legs no matter  how fit and lean we are, I  like the reminder that shapely, toned legs look fabulous and are absolutely attainable for me.

Today I ate 32.5 pts
Workout: Advanced Tae Bo (-7pts)
TOTAL: 25.5 pts  (4 flex points)

Well HELLO 140's!! Nice to see you again!

I lost a lb this week.  1 exact pound - no more, no less.  And I'm ecstatic!!!  I am now back in the 140's - 149.6, to be exact!  Which is a total loss of 4.8 lbs in 4 weeks. 

Buh-Bye, 150's!  See ya again someday after me and Mr Wonderful are married and expecting a new baby.  But not before then!

I am JOYOUS this morning.  I was certain I had put on weight this week.  I peered down at the scale through scrunched eyes, not really wanting to see it.  I'm guessing this weight reflects some of the fat I burned in the previous 2 weeks that didn't show up on Tues morning weigh-ins for whatever reason. Or perhaps my body just burns more fat when I'm eating cannolis and French toast, as I did this weekend.  There is obviously so much more that affects the # on the scale than just how much fat I may have burned off during the week.

I'm expecting my period to start later this week, immediately after which I expect the scale to drop at least another lb.  I'm really psyched for next Tuesday's weigh in.  I just hope it doesn't coincide with my cycle so that I end up standing on the scale the day my weight peaks and I'm back over 150.  I really don't want to see that stupid "5" on the scale again until I hit 145!!

Day 28 - 4th week complete

This wasn't a great week.   I didn't eat as well as I had been, because - quite frankly - seeing the scale barely budging wasn't great incentive. My friend pointed out today that I should chill out on the dramatic expectations each week since I'm not actually overweight and my body doesn't need any drastic adjustment.  A slow loss is probably best for me.

I have consumed all of my weekly flex points this week, for the 1st time.  If I calculate my points without factoring in activity point credits, I realllllllly overate this week, and a significant portion of that was junk. Man, does the junk food add up fast!!  I eat well all day and end up under 22 pts.  I have one bad meal or stupid snack and I'm suddenly halfway through my week's flex points!  

Honestly, I am not expecting a loss this week.  I'm expecting a small gain.  I'm ready, and I will try my best not to be too discouraged.  It's one week, and this is an ongoing process.

Today I ate 26.5 pts
Exercise: Crunch Step & Sweat w/ 10" step; Firm 5 Day Abs  (-5pts)
TOTAL:  21.5 pts




For the week:
Ate 211.5 pts   (allotted 189 w/ daily 22 and 35 flex pts)
Exercise/Burned off:  29 pts


Regardless of my progress on losing weight this week, I have to mention that I've increased my stamina and can do all the floor work (leg & butt toning reps) at the end of Tae Bo without collapsing and ending the workout.  I go right to the end, and my energy during those last exercises is a lot better than it was a few weeks ago.  That feels great!! I'm definitely getting stronger, but I don't see much change in the cellulite...yet.   Once I burn the cellulite off, I think I'll have great muscle tone eager to see the light of day.

MOTIVATING

Day 27

Wasn't a stellar day, but I stayed within my points and had a really energetic workout.  (Actually, the workout is the only reason I've ended up within my daily points range.)

Today I ate 28.5 pts
Exeercise: Advanced Tae Bo (-7 pts)
TOTAL:  21.5 pts


I read some very interesting things about food choices, metabolism, and fat burning.  I'm not entirely convinced the points system is enough for me to get to my goal without also considering what my body does with certain types of "points" after they're consumed.  A No-Pudge brownie is 1 point.  A small banana is 1 pt.  If I have either one of those things each evening for a snack, will it make a difference in my metabolism?   How can it not??  Weight Watchers makes a lot of "junk food" with low point values, but their ingredients just don't look healthy.  How does my body process all that stuff I can't even pronounce?  Now, that being said, I think these things may serve a purpose now and then, and i'm NOT about to give up my No Pudge brownies because they are a delightful chocolate treat and I feel like I'm just eating what I like - which is nothing hard to keep doing.  But do I really want to use up 1 or 2 points per day on artificially sweetened, processed, low point concoctions just because "I can"?   No.  I don't.

I need to keep reading up on this - how different foods affect blood sugar and how that in turn affects metabolism.  If I'm making wiser food choices, perhaps I should even be consuming MORE points per day to increase my fat burning.  Then again, I'm not sure how much the point system takes this stuff into account already.  All I know is that a Splenda-full mini carrot cake snack can't possibly effect my body the same way as a piece of celery dipped in hummus, even if they are the same points value.

I could spend the summer trying to suck in my belly and cover up as much as possible....

...or I could feel great about the way my belly, quads and glutes look, toned with no cellulite dimples, so I can relax  around the water, not hide in it.   

Day 26 - FAIL

I did manage to limit my french toast serving early today to what was probably 3/4 a standard serving.  The recipe has 8 eggs in it though, and the points are high.  So 8 pts for that.  Then we had birthday cannolis instead of cake this evening.  I split a cannoli w/ my boyfriend, but still - 4.5 unhealthy points for that half.  Didn't over-do anything at dinner, but tonight - sitting here going over my points and feeling bad about the french toast AND cannoli combo, AND the fact I'm exhausted (woke up very early to make this casserole so it could sit in the egg mix for a few hours, as needed), so I'm totally not up for exercising tonight.  As if all this isn't bad enough, when I went to double check the nutritional content of the pickled red cabbage I'd had with dinner, I didn't resist the temptation to reach into the tupperware with the leftover french toast casserole and broke off a small piece to eat.  >sigh<  NOtice I didn't say "couldn't resist".  Sure, I could have!  I'm in control of my own actions.  But I "DIDN'T" resist.

So I'm now officially 2.5 pts over my flex points for the week, with 2 days to go.  Nothing else going on that I will have a hard time eating well for in the next 2 days though.  I plan on keeping it low fat, fiber-rich and limit starches/breads, and to workout HARD for the next 2 days in the hopes that Tuesdays weigh in isn't an unpleasant experience.  I'm also expecting a weight spike of 2 or so lbs in the coming week due to my cycle, so if Tuesday's weigh-in sucks, I will focus on the following one being a more certain loss.  I won't let this discourage me.  I've been working out hard and I'm happy with myself about that.  I have a lot of room for growth on the self-control issue.  I'm eager to do better with that, and sort of even enjoying the process, now that I'm paying such close attention to it.  I'm improving myself, mentally as well as pysically.  I want to look better as soon as possible, of course, but there's no deadline on trying to improve myself.  Once I improve one thing, I'll be eager to find something else to work on.  Such is life.

I'm now VERY eager to eat VERY well tomorrow!!!!!!  It's strange, how eager I am for it.  If I feel this way about it now, why was today so darn hard???

March on......

Today I ate 28.5 pts
No exercise
TOTAL:  28.5 pts (including last 4 flex pts, plus 2.5 beyond.)

(Maybe it's time to go back to the motivation pics of the negative kind.)

Day 25

Today I ate 36 pts
Exercise:  The Crunch Step & Sweat and Firm 5 Day Abs (-5 pts)
TOTAL:  31 pts


3 pieces of eggplant covered pizza for dinner.  THREE.  I'd have resisted that 3rd one, but my mom just kept telling me to take another.  It's ALL HER FAULT.  ;)


This is really not my best week.  


Tomorrow's my dad's  birthday and I'm making him his favorite Challah French Toast Casserole.  It's heavenly, and I don't know if I want to even attempt to not have any.  I'm trying to plan my whole day's menu in advance so I can have *a piece* of the French toast, after half a protein shake (so I'm not hungry when I start digging in to the Fr Tst), a salad for lunch, and then a small portion of the pot roast my mom is making for the family for dinner.  I can whip up a No Pudge brownie when everyone has b'day cake.  (I prefer it, anyway.)  I can do this!    My sister has to eat lactose and gluten free, so I'm not alone in having to set myself apart from everyone else who'll be eating like crazy.   


I only have 4 flex points left for the week - 3 more days.   Given my 2 days of no exercise and my 2 days of overeating, I kinda feel like I shouldn't touch those flex points...like I'm not going to make progress this week.  I want to do well this weekend.  I want to feel great about it on Monday, and be eager to get on the scale Tues.

Does my metabolism need a nap?

I'm not getting enough sleep.  I exercise late at night, go to bed around 12:30 - 1 am (a few times recently even later  than that), and then get up at 6:45am to get my daughter off to school.  After dinner tonight I got cumfy on my bed, propping up some pillows and getting a magazine I'd fallen asleep reading last night before I got through 2 paragraphs.  I not only dozed off, but I slept hard for 3 1/2 hours!   Geez, I was tired!!!  I've got to start exercising earlier and getting to bed by 10:30 - 11.  I just love my late nights and hate to give them up.  >sigh<   Can't really start tonight either, since I just woke up from a looooong nap.  I hate to say it, but - I'll start tomorrow.  Really!  I will!

What I've found online about it indicates that not getting enough sleep affects hormones which affect metabolism.  Some experts say stuff about being tired and therefore reaching for junk food to get your energy up, or not having energy to exercise.  To that I say DUH.  That's not sleep deprivation causing weight gain.  That's poor diet and exercise causing it - no news there.  But research discussed in other (more helpful) articles specifies hormones that are affected by sleep deprivation, and how they affect our bodies.  It could explain why I had such a great week on paper (points-wise), yet only lost .2 lb during my 2nd week.

Day 24

My motivation is just sorta flat today.  Not gone,  but not really perked up and at attention, if you know what I mean.  Gotta watch out for blowing my points for the week during just a few hours of low motivation.  It wouldn't take long to mess up, and I don't want to feel that discouragement afterwards.  And I sure as heck don't want to get on the scale Tues morning and see anything other than a loss, even if it's 1/10 of a lb.     MUST BE A LOSS!!!!

Today I ate 28.5 pts
Workout: Advanced Tae Bo and Firm 5 Day Abs (-7 pts)
TOTAL: 21.5 pts

Posting a very motivational before/after image I found online.  I wish it included details - weight/height/BMI and timeframe.  There are a bunch of great before/after pics at this site:  http://hitchfit.com/blog/before-afters/
but for some reason, this particular chick didn't include details like the others did.

Updated post-workout:  Motivation is back with a vengeance!!  I'm angry at my cat for beginning to use the floor next to her catbox to relieve herself.  She's a sweet, cute little thing and obviously I can't punch her, but I'm furious at the situation and it was a perfect frame of mind to do Tae Bo.  I punched harder, kicked higher and pushed myself through the floor work/leg lift reps with great gusto due to my frustration.  I now feel awesome!!!!  My legs were trembling in exhaustion when I finished.  Whoo-hoo!!!  I will NOT undo this workout with a scone in the morning!  I WILL SEE THIS WORKOUT ON THE SCALE TUES MORNING!

Day 23

It's Ash Wednesday - a day of fasting...sort of.  Not totally fasting.  2 small meals, and one main meal which shouldn't exceed the size of the 2 small meals, and no snacking in between.  This.  Is.  Hard.  !!!!!
So I ate a cup of dry cheerios for bfast, w/ my coffee.  Lunch was a piece of multi grain panini bread w/ a tsp of peanut butter, and somewhere between 1/2 and 1 oz of mixed nuts/seeds/raisins.  (I'll round off to 1 for the sake of convenience.)  Dinner was 1c. of black bean soup w/ 1/4 c. white rice.  Had another coffee after dinner.  Then my daughter asked me to make her a late dinner (since she hates beans), so I was up in the kitchen thinking of all the food I wanted to eat.  I actually had the No Pudge Brownie box in my hands, then put it back and reached for the whole wheat pita chips w/ hummus.  I figured if I was going to break my fast, I'd at least control myself against the BIGGER temptation for chocolate, and stick to something healthy.  I had 6 chips w/ about a Tbsp hummus.  So I fell short of fasting as planned, but I did the best I could do - 1st day of lent and plenty of room (and time) for growth in self restraint.  >sigh<  Just not there yet.

Today I ate 19 pts.
No Exercise (2 days now! Ack!)
TOTAL:  19 pts

Goal:  To look almost as good as this chick does in shorts and a racerback tank like hers.   (Almost , yes.  That's not limiting my ambition.  It's acknowledging that even "almost as good" as this is downright amazing!)

Day 22 - Mardi Gras/Fat Tuesday

In the true spirit of the season, I went to the Church pancake supper and consumed 4 pancakes, some kind of cake-thing, bacon and a mimosa.  And then, not feeling very work-out-y, I burned not one darn point back off this evening.  So 1st day of the week, and 22 flex points gone.  And y'know, I think that's OK.  It's Mardi Gras.  I had fun.  I'll be fasting twice this week as lent begins  (2 very small meals and 1 main meal at dinner, no snacks in between.)  The pressure is on now that I only have 12 flex points left for the week, and 2 birthday parties to attend this weekend.  I may have to break out the Insanity workouts.  >gulp<

Today I ate 44 points  (I feel that should echo for effect.)
Workout - NONE
Total:  44 pts (22 flex pts)


And now a little bit'a Beyonce for motivation....

You don't need long skinny legs to rock a pair of tight jeans.  You just need a good waist line and no muffin-top.  (Killer shoes can't hurt either.)

-.8 lb. Good Lord, this is taking so much longer than it used to

In my 20's and earlier 30's,  if I noticed my belly looking puffy, I'd eat better or exercise more for 1-2 weeks and it would all be back to normal.  That is clearly not the case anymore.  I've completed 3 weeks of eating within my weight-loss range AND exercising daily/vigorously...either one of those things should have resulted in weight loss on their own, and I did both.  I've lost .8 lb this week.  That's after last week's .2 lb.  One measly pound in 2 weeks.  Three weeks of it, and a total loss of 3.8 lbs.   At the risk of sounding laughably idiotic, I expected to be losing close to that amount in a week.  (I'm cringing at my own words there.  But if I can't be blunt and honest in an anonymous blog, what's the point?)

My consolation:  I'm not doing anything I can't keep doing every day for the rest of my life.  I mean, I'd like to stop writing down all the weight watchers points eventually, and I assume I'll be able to once I get a better feel for how the points value of different foods, and what my daily diet should generally consist of in order to lose or maintain weight.  So losing slow may be a good sign that this is a sustainable health/diet lifestyle change rather than some short-term crash diet.  I obviously have to give up the goal of losing 10 lbs this month.  But I can see how that probably just wasn't a healthy goal for me anyway. To be eating less than I am now, or exercising more (?!) could make me lose faster, but I can't maintain that routine.  What would my diet/exercise routine be by May 1st then?  What would my weight be by summertime?

So I'll lose slowly and accept that.  (Do I have another choice??)

Jan 31 - 154.4
Feb 7 - 151.6
Feb 14 - 151.4
Feb 21 - 150.6

TOTAL LOSS: 3.8 lbs in 3 weeks.

Day 21

Ready for my 3rd week weigh in tomorrow morning.  Really don't know what to expect.  I've stayed on program and done everything I'm supposed to, but last week's .2 lb loss really has me feeling like I'm at the mercy of the scale - I'm not calling the shots.  On the other hand, regardless of any weight loss or gain, I am most certainly feeling good about my eating habits this month.  I'm enjoying the healthier snacks, and I feel good about turning down most of the junk options.  (not all - but most.)  Most of all, I feel great about how easily the exercise commitment has come.  6 days a week, no excuse and -honestly - no desire for an excuse.

Today:  ate 32 pts
Workout:  Advanced Tae Bo and Firm 5 Day Abs  (-7 pts)
TOTAL:  25 pts


I recalculated my points this week based on NOT subtracting activity pts as I did them, but rather taking from my flex points, and considering activity pts just bonus extras, not factored in.When calc. that wat way, my totals for the week are:
34.5 flex pts consumed
30 activity points earned


So any way I calculate it, I really should have lost weight this week.  I'm so eager to see, yet also sorta dreading it and the possibility that all my confidence in this system could be blown to smithereens - if I don't lose.

Recalc. for the last 2 weeks:

Week 1
51.5 flex pts consumed
26 activity points earned
LOST 2.6 lbs
(though my initial weigh in on day 1 was the start of my period, so I'd have expected to lose at least a lb that week regardless of diet/exercise.)

Week 2
38.5 flex pts consumed
27 activity points earned
LOST .2 lb

Week 3
34.5 flex pts consumed
30 activity points earned
WHAT WILL THE SCALE SAY?

Gina freakin' Carano, looking decidedly more confident about her weigh in than I will.

Rethinking the points routine

I've been reading some online discussions about how to track and use up points.  I never thought of it before, but there's a choice to make regarding which points you count at the end of the day:  do you take from your activity points 1st, or your flex points 1st?  I've been taking from my activity points 1st, but I am going to change that for week 4 (starting Tuesday.)

I'm allotted 22 pts per day, minimum point value intake.  It's my understanding that I should use a significant portion of my weekly 35 flex points in addition to the 22 daily points.  I believe this is probably wise to keep my metabolism up, and fall into a dietary routine that I can maintain once I lose the weight I want to lose.  22 pts per day may seem do-able now that my motivation is all revved up to lose weight by the end of the month, but honestly - I can't limit myself to that for the rest of my life.  Don't want to!  So I have to commit to eating most, if not all of them each week.  What I'm going to do then is rearrange my points calculations.... Eat my 22 pts, and whatever I go over comes out of the flex pts.  When I get close to using up the 35 flex pts by the end of the week, I can check out my activity points log and see how many points I've "banked" so far for the week, and then determine if going over my daily points, and perhaps beyond what's left in my flex pts, will be OK.

Since last week was a bit of a shock - I *should have* lost more, considering my points consumed and burned - then I think perhaps a change in approach towards points calculation will be helpful.

And while we're at this -a 2nd daily post - may as well take the opportunity to post another motivation pic.  (Did I mention I love them?)

This is how I love to feel after a good workout.

Day 20 - this is boring

Losing weight can get awfully boring...all this waiting... I guess counting points and blogging is a good way to liven the process up.  But hell - even I'm bored with this blog, and I'm writing the darn thing.  I need to post some noteworthy results soon!  Or - in the meantime - some highly motivational images.

Killer firm curves.  I love her figure!

Today ate 33 pts
Workout: The Crunch Step & Sweat w/ 10" step, Firm 5 Day Abs  (-5 pts)
TOTAL:  28 pts

Day 19 - chugging along

My cycle is kinda wacky in a "ewww" kinda way that I'm not about to share here, and my face is suddenly breaking out...which could be hormonal (normal for me) or could be that I forgot to wash my face after a sweaty workout the other night.  I'm very, very hopeful that whatever is up with my cycle could also be what showed up as a gain on the scale yesterday morning.

I'm eating well, eating enough, and exercising with extra gusto now, and I don't care what the scale said yesterday.  It wasn't my official weekly weigh in, so it doesn't count.    There will be NO gain from last Tuesday when I get back on the scale this Tuesday.  NONE.  NONE!  I am in control, dammit!  Weight can't just sneak up on me when I'm counting every calorie consumed and burned.  Excuse me...what I mean is FAT can't sneak up on me... Weight is NOT fat.

Ahh, lunges...the ultimate love/hate relationship.

Today:  ate 23.5 pts

Workout:  The Firm Aerobics & Weight Training w/ 11" step and 5 lb dumbells; Firm 5 Day Abs  (+7 pts)

TOTAL:  16.5 pts

Day 18 - WTH?!?!?!

I weighed myself this morning and I've put on 1.6 lbs since Tuesday - 3 days ago.  What the freakin heck?!?!  How is that possible?  One scone cannot add 1.6 lbs.  Do my coffees w/ Splenda and skim milk (2 per day) have secret points I'm unaware of?  Is the caffeine making me retain fluids?  Is my metabolism slowing down because I've suddenly started eating fewer calories and less fat?  I'm not under-eating, and I'm working out daily, so why would my metabolism slow down?

I have to do some research on what causes water retention, and  address that before my next *official* weigh in, Tuesday morning.

Man, it's hard not to feel discouraged right now.


PM update:
I can't get discouraged now.  I just started this thing.  I've been eating well, exercising regularly and feeling in control.  That needs to count more than the # on the scale...anyway, that scale has no idea what pressing down on it.  Fat, muscle, water retention, undigested food, unflossed teeth, unshaved legs...(ha!)
I'm driven to do my hardest workout tonight.  No wait - I take that back.  The Insanity workout is the hardest, by far.  But Tae Bo is 2nd, and I can get through it without wishing I was dead, which I generally prefer.  Exercise should make you feel strong, capable and good about yourself - not like your body and your will are at war and both are losing.  Insanity is for very special occasions only.  (Like the  months preceding my 20th HS reunion 2 summers ago.)

Today I ate 25 pts
Workout: Tae Bo (1 hr) and Firm Abs (10 min) - +7pts
TOTAL:  17 pts

Day 17

I made up for my scone b'fast w/ healthy, low-fat lunch & dinner and a good workout.  I guess I can take it easy on myself for an occasional indulgence.  Beating myself up and getting discouraged over it might end up causing more damage to my goals than the scone did.  At the same time, I tend to get to go too easy on myself and give my workouts too much credit, so I am accepting a little bit of regret over the scone.  Hopefully just enough to think twice next time.

I was thinking today about how totally great it feels to be fit, toned and flab-free.  I remember the feeling, and I really want it back.  It makes sense that it requires so many little sacrifices along the way, and all these little healthy food choices I make each day now - though they seem difficult in the moment - are so obviously worth it in the long run.  Nothing tastes as good as IN CONTROL feels.  I'm not happy with the cellulite I have, and I'm not in control as long as I keep it on my body.  I know exactly what I need to do to lose it, and I am making a decision to do that.  I am not giving crappy food control over this.  I'm in control, dammit.  >grrrr<

No problem at all on the exercise part of all this.  I love my workouts.  Thank God!! :)

So:
Today I ate 22 pts
Workout: The Firm Turbocharge - Cardio & Sculpt, and Firm 5 Day Abs  (-3 pts)
TOTAL:  19 pts


I've started pre-planning my b'fast and lunch for the next day, so I can pack accordingly for work and not face that "what should I eat" dilemma when I'm hungry.  Tomorrow I'm going out for a late Valentine's Day dinner w/ my honey, so I'm keeping my pts to a minimum earlier.  I am in control....I do not have to dread going hogwild at dinner and ordering creamy/buttery/deep fried foods and chocolate lava cake a la mode just because I'm out and it's tempting and it's a holiday excuse.  I can go to dinner planning to order and love a grilled seafood entree w/ veggies, and share a dessert, and end the evening feeling really great about it all.  That's how I want to feel at the end of the night.  And I vowed to be under 150 by Tuesday, so I can't waste the progress that I can make tomorrow towards that goal.

I feel good. :)

I want these quadriceps by summer.

WHY did I DO THAT?!?!

I did it again.  I devoured a 12 pt scone for bfast.  Yes, I would prefer to have had a healthy b'fast at home, but I had to get up early and do the carpool in to school for my daughter and a couple of other kids.  That takes over an hour, round trip.  Then I rushed to get ready for work in 30 min, trying to budget in a few min to mix up a protein shake to take with me.  No time.  Couldn't do it.  I stopped to grab my coffee a block away from work, and figured I'd order a quick eggwhite and veggie concoction on whole wheat.  I mentally prepped myself to NOT order or even look at the bagels behind the glass next to the register.  I was ready.  I was motivated.  I was on a strict "eggwhite and veggie, only!" quest.

The coffee shop was closed for some reason.  (Imagine the nerve!!??)  Next thought - oatmeal to go, from the other cafe across the street.  Problem:  I have to drop off $ there from this past weekend, when I ran short of cash and they told me to just come drop it off next time I'm there.  (I love my small town!) But I didn't have enough cash on me this morning for that PLUS bfast, and I sure as heck didn't want to go in there for any reason OTHER than to give them my $...not to order more food while still owing them $.  Ugh!  So I ran off to a different coffee shop, where they don't do eggwhite and veggie bfasts, OR oatmeal to go.  And man, was I hungry!  I looked at the mixed greens salads in the fridge, but they're not bfast.  There were fruit salads also - but they just didn't look at all appealing for bfast.  And then, there behind the glass counter, were the big fat crispy-outer, bready-inner, berry popping, buttery, scrumptious mega scones I mentioned last week.  The woman fixed my coffee (splenda and skim milk) and asked if I'd like anything else.  I looked at the fruit salads.  I looked at the scones.  And that's the story.....

12 fattening points.  This is NOT the way to get rid of cellulite!!!

Blah.

Gotta spend the rest of the day making up for this.  I didn't enjoy the scone THAT much to be worth this.

Day 16

Ate: 24 pts
Workout: The Firm Overdrive - Cardio, and Firm 5 Day Abs (-3 pts)
TOTAL: 21 pts

Just focusing on motivation today.   I want the cellulite gone!

Week 2 Weigh In

Weight: 151.4

I'm down .2 lb this week.  TWO TENTHS of ONE POUND.  (for a total of 3 lbs in 2 weeks.)

Used 16 of my 35 flex points this week.

Work-outs burned off 27 pts  (Calculating and posting this stat is the highlight of week now!)

That's it.  No more pasta w/ pesto, no matter how hard I workout after.  I am completely determined to be in the 140's by next week.  (As I sit here at work slurping the last of my breakfast protein smoothie with no bread anywhere in the vicinity.)

Two positive things to say though.
1:  It's .2 lb in the right direction!  :)
2:  I haven't lost my motivation.  I'm more motivated now than I was pre-weigh-in.  I WILL BE below 150 next week.

End of day update:
Ate: 28 pts
Workout: The Firm Turbocharge - Sculpt (20 min, high intensity) w/ 5 & 10 lb dumbells.  (-2 pts)
TOTAL:  26 pts (4 flex pts)

I might look just like this once I burn this layer of fat off.

Day 14

Weigh in tomorrow!   I honestly don't know what to expect.  I see the remaining 19 pts of my 35 flex pts, so I know that theoretically I should have lost weight this week.  I see my waist a bit more defined and my abs looking more toned as I work out, having burned off a bit of the flab that's been covering them.  I should be certain and psyched about my weigh in tomorrow.  But I'm dreading it.  This weekend I ate terribly, and I just don't know how accurate the points system can be with those activity points vs. consumed points.  Although - now that I look at it, even without the activity point credits this weekend, I'm still slightly under my points for the week.  Why am I stressing this??

Part of my negative feelings today are based on the fact that my motivation can't speed this process up.  I can do everything perfectly and it's still going to take quite a few weeks.  I know I can't expect a nearly-3-lb loss each week, like last week....and I'll need to be happy with a 1 lb loss when/if that happens.  But a whole week of being so motivated and counting points so meticulously and working out so hard, for 1 lb??  Blah...  If only putting ON weight was this tedious and required so much energy.


Today: ate 26 pts
Workout: The Crunch Step & Sweat, and Firm 5 Day Abs (-5 pts)
TOTAL: 21 pts

Day 13

Wow, eating well is tricky.  Just when you think you're too motivated to ever blow a day on crappy eating, the challah bread french toast and mom's spaghetti dinner come knocking.

Today: ate a whopping 35 pts
Workout: The Firm Ab/Hip/Thigh workout w/ 12" step and 3 & 5 lb dumbells and 5 lb ankle wts  (-5 pts)
TOTAL:  30 pts  (8 flex pts)

So I've consumed 16 of my 35 flex pts this week, with one day left.  I will not use any tomorrow.  I really regret all the wasted calories I ate today.  I wouldn't regret it if it had just been one or the other - brunch or dinner - but it was just all day bad eating choices.  I'll make up for it tomorrow.  I am so determined to see a loss on the scale Tues morning, for Week 2.

Day 12

My waist looks smaller!  I'm sure I'm not imagining it!!  Oh happy happy dance!!!

My sweet daughter brought me breakfast in bed this morning.  She loves me, yes, but she was also trying to butter me up - quite literally - to ask me to take her to some big teen club event tonight, about a 50 min drive away with God only knows what kind of supervision.  That's not happening.  It sorta broke my heart, but I had to say no to that AND turn down the b'fast.  (2 scrambled eggs and a bagel w/ butter on it.)  I had planned an egg white veggie omelette for bfast, and NO bagel.  Big no.  Ugh.... If she was younger, I'd have eaten it anyway to spare her feelings.  At 14 1/2, I think she can understand that I'm keeping close watch on what I consume.  She ended up eating this b'fast herself, so no waste.

She's a smart girl...Now that I think of it, I wonder if she knew I couldn't/wouldn't eat that, and thought by saying no to the b'fast she made would make me more inclined to take mercy on her and say yes to the event.  Hmmm...

At any rate, when getting dressed I noticed my waist looking decidedly more defined.  Now THAT is a nice feeling!!

Off to great start this weekend!

End of day update:


Today: ate 29.5 pts
Workout:  Adv.Tae Bo (+6pts)
TOTAL: 23.5 pts  (1.5 flex pts)

This, in my opinion, is what perfectly toned legs look like.

Day 11 and no penne ala vodka

OK, that's a lie.  I had a tiny bit of penne ala vodka.  But I'm damn proud of myself for sitting there at my friends house watching everyone eat that scrumptious homemade creamy pasta dish and to only take a few forks of it myself.  Even though I have plenty of points to spare.  Even though I ate so well all day before dinner.  Even though I was also skipping the wine.  Even though I knew I could work it off with Tae Bo when I got home.  Even though I sat right next to the big serving bowl of it and had to try not to think about it the entire time.

Today: ate 25 pts.
Workout - The Firm: Turbocharge - Cardio (-2 pts)
TOTAL: 23 pts (1 flx pt)

I'm not sure about the point value of these Firm workouts.  They're only 20 min, but they're intense and the weight work leaves me somewhat sore the next day, so I wonder if perhaps it is burning more in less time.  I have longer workouts that - according to the activity point calculator - are worth more points, but which don't elevate the heartrate or tone my muscles the same way.  However, I guess it's better to estimate down and be safe, rather than expect a loss based on point values and then not see it.

MOTIVATION PICS

I want one of these made to look like my ex husband!!  What an amazing workout that would be!

Gina Kickass Carano.  People probably thought her middle name was odd when she was a little kid, but now they understand.

Day 10, and still revved up

I'm really psyched to be doing this.  I wish I could steal a glimpse of my results on the last day of Feb.  I'm on my way to the grocery store to stock up on kashi, black beans, celery, berries, fruit, cottage cheese and if I can find some vanilla protein powder, I'm going to give smoothies a shot this week.

Time to post another motivation pic:

PM update:  Love the protein smoothie recipe I got from The Firm Express fitness guide (came with my workout CD set.)  I made it for the 1st time today - vanilla peanut butter flavor.  Great!!

Today: ate 22 pts
Workout: The Firm:Turbocharge - Cardio & Sculpt w/ 8 lb dumbells, and Firm Abs  (-3 pts)
TOTAL:  19 pts  

Day 9

Ate: 26 pts
No workout
TOTAL: 26 pts (4 flex pts)

Foods I really love:  Bread.  Peanut Butter.  Bagels.  Cheese.  Indian buffet.
Foods I wish I genuinely loved:   Yogurt.  Carrots.  Apples.  Egg whites.  Salad bars.

I guess it's a good thing I genuinely love exercising.   I just wonder - if I was more strict in limiting my diet while losing weight, how much quicker would I lose it?  And would I look THAT much better in the end (pun intended) that I'd want to keep limiting those foods?   I really doubt it.   But I do wonder.... And my goal weight and BMI isn't the firmest, most toned body I know I *could* get if I put in the effort.  I consider my goal weight and BMI a realistic state for someone like me who loves eating and simply wants to balance that out well with my exercise and slowing metabolism, so as not to leave my size 8's behind as I leave my 30's behind this summer.

Some more motivation pics pulled from the web:

(I LOVE that everything is so easily available via the internet.  Not only all these motivational pics, but so many sources of nutritional info for the foods I eat, which enables me to accurately get their points value.  Love it!!)

NO!  

YES!  

Week 1 Weight Loss

Weight this morning:  151.6  (loss of 2.8 lbs)

I feel amazing!  Why didn't I start this sooner?


Today: ate 29 pts
Workout: Crunch Step & Sweat (w/ 10" step), and Firm 5 Day Abs: -6 pts
TOTAL:  23 pts  (1 flex pt)

I found this pic online of 3 lbs of butter.  Take (nearly)2 of those stumps
away, and the remainder is what I burned off my body this week.  

GREAT 1st WEEK!

Tomorrow I weigh in for my 1st completed week of WWPP.  I've realized this week that restaurant dining is just a BAD idea when watching calorie and fat intake.  That's gonna be a hard habit to break, but keeping count of the points sure helps turn down those bad dining options.

I worked out 6 days this week, banking a total of 27 pts!  (whoo-hoo!  I like seeing it tallied up like that.  I kinda rock!)
I used 30 of my 35 flex points this week.



Today: ate 34 pts
Workout: The Firm Accelerate - Sculpt w/ 8 lb dumbells  (2 pts?)
TOTAL:  32 pts

I saw a movie tonight w/ this chick starring in it.  She's in amazing shape, and has a similar figure to mine, though she's much more toned, much less jiggly than I am currently.  I love that they put a curvy, thick-legged woman in a kickass leading role.   Makes me appreciate my own figure more, seeing her toned curves flaunted as opposed to all the usual waifs Hollywood presents as ideal.  I found the whole thing very motivating and was psyched to come home and exercise hard.

Day 6: Superbowl Sunday motivation

Superbowl Sunday motivation!  (It's the 2nd biggest eating day of the year, they say.)

I love before and after photos.  They take images of my goals and put them right out there to look at.  This one really motivates me because it's not such a huge, drastic change, yet the little change makes a huge difference.  I can do this!  It's not such a huge endeavor. (Is that surgical panties she's wearing?)

I've planned ahead for my gametime snacking, and will try to ignore my dad's snacks, which are never very health-conscious.   I'm having reduced fat triscuits w/ Laughing Cow reduced fat swiss cheese spread, baked whole wheat pita chips w/ hummus, and this pizza I found online when googling "healthy pizza".
6 pts for 2 pieces.  Not bad!

Also planning head, I had a salad for lunch with barely a touch of dressing.  (Trick: lightly dipping the fork in the dressing before picking up food.)  Now I can enjoy my snacks tonight without obsessing over the points.  I still have 16 flex pts for the week (ending tomorrow) which I can consume and still count on a weight loss this week.  I'd rather not use them all this week, but I won't beat myself up if I do.  My goal is to stick with this long term, and something like Superbowl snacking will certainly help me feel like I'm simply eating healthy and not "dieting".  I can stick with this, no problem.

Updating this after the game: (we won!)
The pizza was great!  Had 3 pieces instead of 2.  Had 6 triscuits w/ 1 Laughing Cow cheese wedge.  Had some celery and carrots.  Had one baked chicken wing w/ hot sauce.  Had a small chocolate chip cookie and coffee.   And had 1 wedge/slice of a turkey & cheese wrap.  Nothing overboard, yet I don't feel I really had to reign myself in.  I felt like I was indulging myself.

Today: ate 26.5 calories
No Workout
TOTAL:  26.5 pts (5 flex pts)

Day 5 - Thanks, flex points!

I used up a whole lot of flex points today.  I guess that's what they're for, eh?


Today: ate 35 pts
Workout: Tae Bo & Firm Abs  -6 pts
TOTAL: 29 pts  (7 flex pts)

Great Nike ad.

Day 4, Happy Dance!

~ Happy Dance ~

Friday Weigh-In - Day 4
153.6 lbs  (-.8)
(And my period just started, so I'm at my heaviest weight of my cycle today.)

Today: ate 25 pts
Workout:  The Firm Accelerate - Cardio (20 min), 10 min jog on treadmill, and Firm 5 Day Abs    +4 pts
TOTAL:  21 pts

I screwed up today - sorta.  I got a scone for b'fast.  A big, buttery, sweet, berry-filled scone.  I always get one for someone at my workplace at Fridays, and I just didn't bother trying to resist, thinking "I'll work it off".  I don't know exactly what the ingredients are to calculate the pts with certainty, but the alarming facts are as follows:

The Weight Watchers food companion guide lists a "regular scone , 2.5 oz" as 6 pts.  This scone is not regular in any way.  It's more buttery and sugary than other scones.  It's pretty much a huge chunk of crispy edged sweet fat with some berries mixed in for flavor.

Now on to the size - if 2 1/2 ox is "regular", then this one is "mega".  I'd say it was 5 oz, so double the pts...
That's TWELVE POINTS for one breakfast mistake.  (How ironic - my post yesterday, and all my big talkin' and high plannin'. Ha.)

After consuming 12 pts of sweet fat for bfast, I had to really limit the rest of my meals/snacks for the day.  But I've done it.  (Thank you, Panera's low fat veggie soup!)

.8 of a pound at a time, I'm moving away from this:

And toward this:

Day 3: Hurry up now!

I'm still on track, but it's only day 3 and I have so long to go before seeing any results that are as dramatic as I intend them to be, considering how revved up I am about this.  At moments, I kinda just want to say screw it and dip a donut in peanut butter.  But I won't.

I don't have a scale, but I use a friend's scale on Friday mornings before work, so tomorrow will be a weigh in day, just 3 days after my initial weigh in.  I'm due for my period any moment now, so I feel like I have a great excuse if I don't see a difference on the scale yet.  But honestly, I better freakin' see a difference!  I want the motivation of an immediate dip in the scale, however small,and the bonus of knowing I'll lose even more in a few more days, after my period, and after more days of budgeting points.  I mean, really...carrying my little eating journal around all day, counting every little point and plotting my workouts, all to guarantee a loss this week....I reallllly want my 1st week to be enough of a loss that it will show up halfway into it!  I want some powerful incentive to keep doing exactly what I'm doing.  Some incentive other than the less tangible fact that I do feel fabulous.  I feel in control of everything - what I'm doing today, what it means for me in the future.  Though I'm NOT a morning person, I'm eager to get up and start another day of progress and success.  I'm motivated to eat a healthy breakfast.  After my late night workout before bed, then waking up to a healthy b'fast, I find it's easier to stay on track and keep the momentum going the rest of the day so as not to let myself down..."myself" being the me who was sweating through a workout the night before, and eating Cheerios and grapefruit in the morning rather than a scone or bagel.  (mmmm...scones and bagels.... wait...what were we talking about?)

OK - let's do some Motivational Breakfast Images:

Ahh yes,  lest we forget, a healthy breakfast not only benefits your energy, health and figure,
but it also spurs love and romance.  Surely this man would not be smiling so suggestively
if his beloved were chomping on a Sausage McMuffin w/ Egg. 

I think my abs look better just from looking at this photo with the intent of eating it soon.

Today:  Ate 28 pts

Workout:  20 min on treadmill, The Firm "Accelerate: Cardio and Sculpt" (20 min), and Firm 5 Day Abs (45 min total).  -4 pts

TOTAL:  24 pts  (2 flex pts)

Day 2: A decision, plain and simple.

It's really amazing and pretty simple to lose sight of the fact that it's my decision - plain and simple - to get into great shape or not.  I keep reminding myself of this.  All I have to do is want it enough to act accordingly.  There's no mystery formula involved - just consume fewer calories than I burn, and it's a scientific certainty that I'll lose weight.  If I choose those calorie sources well, I'll look and feel good, which will in turn fuel better workouts, which will in turn burn more calories.  I make this decision - or not - a few times a day, every day.  There's no excuse for not looking and feeling the way I want to look and feel.  It's an awful feeling standing in front of your closet in the morning trying to choose an outfit that will cover problem areas, rather than choose something I love that will accentuate my figure, showing curves AND a flat belly.  I've been there before.  It really rocks, and absolutely makes not being there feel a lot worse.


Today:  ate 24 pts
Workout: Crunch Step & Sweat, Firm 5 Day Abs (-5 pts)
Total: 19 pts

THIS  SAYS  IT  ALL !

Half a bagel? Really?

Ugh!  How do people eat HALF a bagel?!?!  Unless you find a worm in it halfway through, it's nearly impossible to take a perfectly good half a bagel and put it aside where you will NOT be eating it, while munching on the other scrumptious half.
Thank God for points!  I wrote my points down while I was eating my designated portion: half a bagel.  Mentally doubling the points and seeing what that left me for the rest of the day did the trick.  Plus, this weekend is Superbowl Sunday, and my team's in it.  We're going to have a lot of snack foods around, and I'd like to have as many flex points available at that time as possible.
Maybe I should start looking up healthy, low-fat but superbowl-worthy snacks.